By Paddy Upton
Think of confidence like a balloon. For many people, that balloon is inflated by praise, compliments, recognition, and even social media likes. It feels good—until something goes wrong. The moment criticism, failure, or a negative comment arrives, the air rushes out just as fast as it went in.
That’s shaky confidence. And it’s fragile because it depends on things outside of your control.
A level deeper is grounded confidence—the kind built on preparation, consistent effort, and pushing through difficult times. It’s the confidence that comes from knowing you’ve done the work. It’s not bulletproof, but it’s far more stable because it rests on things you can control.
And beneath both lies something even more fundamental: self-esteem.
Self-esteem is different from confidence. It’s not about what you do, but about who you are in the broader context of life. It’s about your sense of worth that isn’t tied to the last deal you closed, the last meeting you ran, or the last score on the board.
When self-esteem forms the foundation, grounded confidence sits comfortably on top, and the odd bit of external praise is just a bonus. But when the foundation is weak, everything above it is fragile. Often making us reliant on external factors to feel good.”
Mike Hussey is one of the most respected names in cricket. He scored over 15,000 first-class runs before making his Test debut for Australia. Eight years of consistent performance would suggest an abundance of confidence.
Yet, by his own admission:
“I was never ever confident. I carried an inferiority complex for most of my career.”
Think about that. Years of achievement, and still he felt not quite good enough.
His turning point came when he recognised how tentativeness was costing him. “If I just hang in there, I won’t make good footwork. I won’t get into the right positions.” So, he made a pact with himself:
“Everything I do will be confident and decisive.”
Two words—confident and decisive—changed his approach.
Hussey’s story reminds us that confidence isn’t something that arrives automatically with experience or achievement. It’s not a feeling to wait for—it’s a behaviour to choose.
If you’re leading a team, running a business, or chasing big goals, ask yourself:
The most sustainable stack for performance looks like this:
When confidence becomes less about appearances and more about behaviours aligned with values, it transforms from something fragile into something resilient. And that’s where consistent performance begins
Paddy Upton is a renowned mental coach, leadership consultant, and former high-performance coach to elite international athletes. With a background in sport psychology and years of experience working with top cricket teams, he now helps individuals and organisations unlock their full potential through talks, workshops, and his unique A-Game methodology.
