By Paddy Upton
Many people think courage means being fearless.
But it’s often quite the opposite.
In high-performance environments—whether it’s sport, business, or big-wave surfing—it’s not the absence of fear that matters. It’s what you do when it shows up.
I remember sitting on a boat in Indonesia’s Mentawai Islands as a big swell headed our way. The waves we’d be surfing would break over shallow reefs, covered with sharp coral – and bad wipeout could pose real danger. I was with a group of more experienced surfers and felt the need to prove myself. All this led to a very real sense of fear rising in my gut. I didn’t want to admit it. Not to them, and not to myself. But eventually I confessed it to a friend.
And that’s when he said something that’s stayed with me ever since:
Fear is your friend. Ego is your enemy.
In that moment, something shifted. I realised I wasn’t thinking about surfing for the love of it—I was trying to prove something. I was allowing ego to drive decisions that fear was trying to warn me about. And that’s where many athletes, leaders, and performers get stuck: we confuse fear with weakness, and ego with courage.
Ex-World Champion surfer Shaun Tomson’s story reminded me of this all over again.
In our recent podcast, he spoke about a terrifying ride at Pipeline—a 15-foot wave, shallow reef, no room for error. As he entered the barrel, the water ahead turned darker and darker. That section of the reef had taken lives before. He knew that if he fell there, he would be in genuine danger of injury or even death.
He didn’t pretend he wasn’t scared.
He felt it fully.
But he chose to accelerate.
The wave lifted him, carried him over the danger, and spat him out the other side. He called it one of the greatest rides of his life.
And what I love about Shaun’s story is what it wasn’t.
It wasn’t bravado.
It wasn’t blind risk.
It was a decision made with clarity, presence, and experience. He wasn’t fearless—he was ready.
That’s the core idea that plays out again and again in elite teams and individuals:
Fear isn’t the enemy. Misreading it is.
There’s fear that protects—your gut warning you something’s truly off. And then there’s imagined fear: the kind that shows up right before growth, pressure, or something that matters deeply. If you treat them the same, you either stay stuck—or you take reckless chances.
The key is building the awareness to know the difference.
In leadership, this shows up just as often as it does in sport.
It’s the moment before a tough conversation.
Before making a bold decision.
Before stepping up when your instinct says someone else should do it.
Too many people think courage means feeling no fear.
But the best I’ve worked with—the likes of Dhoni, Kallis, Gukesh, Dravid, Kirsten—they’ve simply learned to listen better.
They feel the fear, process it quickly, and respond with clarity.
Sometimes that means holding back.
Other times, it means committing more fully.
But it’s always a conscious decision—not a performance for the crowd.
So no, high performers aren’t fearless.
They’re just ready.
