Paddy Upton
In high-pressure moments — whether in sport, business, or life — it’s not just about what we feel. It’s about when, where, and how we show it.
Some people express emotion outwardly. Others keep it contained. Neither is right or wrong — they’re simply different. What really counts is our ability to manage ourselves around those emotions, especially when the stakes are high and the spotlight is on.
A recent moment in the chess world caught global attention. After losing a key match to Gukesh D, world number one Magnus Carlsen slammed his hand on the table in frustration. The internet had a field day — was it poor behaviour? Was it passion?
For me, it was just human. A natural, unfiltered reaction to a deeply emotional moment. But it also served as a useful reminder of something I’ve seen across elite sport and high-performance environments.
There’s a difference between the experience of emotion, and the expression of it.
Most people treat them as the same thing. But they’re not. And in that gap between the two lies one of the most powerful tools of mental mastery: the ability to pause.
In sport, we often train for performance. But we don’t always train for composure — the skill of noticing what’s happening inside, without immediately reacting on the outside.
This applies just as much in leadership. In a boardroom, a pitch, a team meeting — frustration, disappointment, or even elation can all come rushing in. And in that rush, it’s easy to respond in ways that are reactive rather than intentional.
The goal isn’t to suppress emotion. That’s not healthy. Nor is it sustainable.
The real skill is to feel fully — and then create space. To take a moment. To step away.
To let the emotion settle enough that you can decide how best to respond.
Sometimes that’s as simple as walking away from the table before you express the frustration. Other times, it’s taking one breath before speaking.
It’s not about being robotic. It’s about being deliberate.
This is something I’ve worked on with both athletes and business leaders: the skill of building a delay between the internal and external. It might sound subtle, but in pressure moments, that small delay often makes all the difference.
You can still be authentic. You can still care deeply. You’re just choosing how and when to show it — and that’s a powerful form of leadership.
Over time, this ability to pause becomes a kind of competitive advantage. Not just for performance, but for presence. Not just for outcomes, but for how you lead yourself and others when it matters most.
Because while emotion is inevitable, reaction is optional. And in that optional space lives clarity, control, and often — your next best move.
Paddy Upton is a renowned mental coach, leadership consultant, and former high-performance coach to elite international athletes. With a background in sport psychology and years of experience working with top cricket teams, he now helps individuals and organisations unlock their full potential through talks, workshops, and his unique A-Game methodology.
