By Paddy Upton
In sport, there was a time when the coach’s voice was the only one that mattered. You followed their instructions, executed their plans, and rarely questioned authority. Success was measured by how well you followed orders. That model belonged to another era — one defined by hierarchy, not shared wisdom.
Today, the playing field has changed. We’re no longer operating in an age where expertise sits with the person at the front of the room. In high-performance teams, whether in sport or business, expertise is increasingly decentralised. Each person brings a unique perspective. The role of a leader or coach isn’t to impose a singular truth — it’s to harness the collective intelligence that sits within the group – and to help each individual within that group to find their own best path.
We often hear the phrase “be your own best coach,” but what does that actually look like?
In a recent podcast, I spoke with Harbhajan Singh, who shared a story from his early years in cricket. Back then, he had no access to strength trainers, nutritionists, or personalised support. His version of fitness? Run 20 laps every day. Bowl 25 or 30 overs. Wake up the next day and do it all again.
It wasn’t textbook. But it worked.
“I wish I had a coach who could’ve guided me better,” he said, reflecting honestly on that time. “But you also have to become your own coach. Because if you can’t teach yourself, your growth won’t be as high.” In a recent conversation with the world number one fast bowler Jasprit Bumrah, he said one of the best things that happened to him was not having a coach up until around 19 years old. This enabled him to develop his own unique action – one that continues to trouble the best batsmen in the world.
These are insights many professionals only arrive at much later in life — if they ever do.
The same principle came up in another conversation with a startup founder, this time around the idea of leadership and respect. For a long time, it was assumed that anyone in a position of authority was automatically worthy of respect. But in the world we live in now — that model is outdated.
Respect isn’t tied to title. It’s tied to behaviour. To how a leader shows up.
The managers and coaches who earn real respect today aren’t the ones with all the answers. They’re the ones who ask the right questions. Who guide without dictating. Who hold up the mirror rather than taking the microphone.
And perhaps more importantly — they’re the ones who help you become your own expert. Your own decision-maker. Your own coach.
This is where leadership and learning intersect.
Because when people feel ownership over their development, they perform with more clarity, more energy, and more resilience. They don’t rely on someone else’s plan. They’re building their own.
This applies equally to sport, startups, and scaleups — any environment where growth, performance, and learning are valued. In all of these, the shift from imposed instruction to supported autonomy isn’t a softening of leadership. It’s an upgrade.
The truth is, the leaders who try to control every decision are often managing their own ego more than your development. And the ones who help you take ownership? They’re playing the long game — not just for your results, but for your evolution.
So whether you’re leading others or developing yourself, here’s the shift that matters:
Stop trying to be the expert in someone else’s life.
Start helping them become the expert in their own.
Because the best leaders don’t create dependency.
They create capability.
And the most powerful form of leadership is the one that teaches others to lead themselves.
